And no, before you ask, the beers aren’t for the kids playing. Who are you? My old high school coach? These are beers for hockey moms. They are for all of us deserving hockey moms who hit every game, practice, fundraiser, and organized event without missing a beat. Beer isn’t just for burly guys working in oilfields, factories, or a ranch anymore. It’s for everyone. And I’ve drunk all of these beers, and they are by far the best beers for hockey moms.
There are a couple of reasons that beer is remarkable for hockey moms. One is that it is readily available. Not every state has liquor laws lenient enough to where a bottle of wine or even harder stuff is only a couple of aisles over from the milk and bread. We have enough crap programmed into our phone’s calendar already without adding another beep beep reminding us to hit the liquor store. Beer is available almost anywhere. Even most Walmart’s have beer and a respectable selection at that.
Another reason for beer is the convenience and portability. Beer comes in a single serving container. You pop one open, drink it, and you are done. No leftovers. to drive home. Wine and liquor come in bottles with multiple servings. While technically not a bad thing, having a bottle of any alcoholic beverage that isn’t factory sealed violates many a state’s open container laws. The last thing any of us wants is to get a DUI, even if we didn’t have one single drink because we didn’t want to leave half a bottle of twenty-dollar wine at a friend’s house.
So what are the best beers for hockey moms? Good question. In no order, here’s a look at the best beers for hockey moms.
1. Molson, Coors, and Miller Lite
Molson is made at one of the oldest breweries in North America, and it’s Canadian (Canadian-ish since merging with Coors), and there aren’t many things more Canadian than hockey. In 2011, Molson-Coors, which includes Miller Lite, inked a deal to become the official beer of the National Hockey League. It is literally hockey beer. Thus, it earns a spot on the list of the best beers for hockey moms
2. King Puck Irish Ale
Puck is a magic goat form Ireland, or something like that, and doesn’t have anything directly to do with hockey. But the beer is delicious, goes great with spicy food like chili, and has the word Puck in it. It’s as good an excuse as any.
3. Natural Light
4. Budweiser & Bud Light
This is the default, and most socially acceptable beer to bring to nearly any party or social gathering. When you get a text inviting you to an after-game get together, and it just says, “bring beer,” Bud and Bud Light is a good choice. It isn’t the godawful cheap stuff, but you still aren’t risking a lot of cash like you would if you went the craft rout. If a hockey mom isn’t concerned enough about the type of beer she says to bring, she won’t care what you bring. Half of it will probably end up with her husband anyway.
5. Grumpy Bear Honey Wheat
This beer is from Alberta, so we have the whole Canada/Hockey thing covered here. Plus, it isn’t unusual to have to dodge the occasional bear on the highway, for us hockey moms who live in the more northern reaches. Are you relating to the idea of a grumpy bear, outside the context of this beer? It likely if you are up before sunrise navigating icy roads.
6. Tramp Stamp: Belgian India Pale Ale
Being a hockey mom means being a good mom. We wouldn’t do all that work of getting our kids ready for each game and practice if we didn’t care. But during the after parties, we get to be the bad moms, and nothing says bad mom. Either we got them when we confused being young with knowing what the F we were doing, and we live in fear of our daughters coming home one day and showing us theirs. Either way, drink this and be a bad mom for the night.
7. Belligerent Ass Nut Brown Ale
We all know that any youth league sport is meant to instill positive life lessons. They encourage good sportsmanship and are a fun way to build up our children’s character. We also know that there is always that one ref who is an EFFING IDIOT! What hockey mom, who can honestly and truly call herself a hockey mom, hasn’t lost it and gone off on an official because of a bad call or dumb play? I’ll wait why you try to remember. This beer is us, a bad call, our kid with a bloody nose, and lack of sleep all rolled into one.
8. Local Craft Beers
Remember when I said that beer is a convenient choice when it comes to party beverages? Well, that isn’t always the case when it comes to local craft beers since often the only place to get them is via a growler at liquor stores or from the brewery itself. These are the beers that are made locally – the adult beverage equivalent of the farmer’s market. There are a couple of good reasons to go out of your way for these brews, especially when it comes to celebrating those big wins. And any beer that celebrates a win, lands it a spot on the list of the best beers for hockey moms.
Craft beers are the good stuff, and way better than the big labels. If the big name national brands are the equivalent of a store-bought birthday cake, then craft beers are cakes made by professional bakers with the best ingredients. Some craft beers are overrated, of course, (*barf* most IPA’s *barf*) but the best is easy to find by asking around. Not only is it good, but the alcohol content tends to be a little higher too. It will be an impressive drink to have at a post-game party.
The other reason is that these craft breweries are local businesses. Depending on how prudish an area is about alcohol, some of them may even sponsor a league. It also isn’t much of a stretch for some of the breweries workers or owners to have their kids on a hockey team. It’s community solidarity, people. These are two big reasons that craft beers of all kinds earn a spot on the list of the best beers for hockey moms.
9. Winter Grind: Mother’s Brewing Company
It’s been a long day, and you still have that game to get to along with the team meetup afterward. You could use a cup of coffee, but don’t want to be awake until 2 AM. You could also use a drink, but don’t want to look like a total lush. Now there is a way to rationalize both decisions. Winter Grind is an English dry stout made from coffee with an ABV of 6%. It’s the ultimate multitasking hockey mom beverage. You get your coffee and beer buzz in one convenient drink. It gives you the energy to not to give a crap like a rabid tiger about all the stuff that can wait until tomorrow.
Got a suggestion for a beer for hockey moms? Share it in the comments. We have a large following who would love to hear what tastes great!